If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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