You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
