I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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