I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
