Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
