How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
