would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
what day is it and did you see me today?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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