sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
