Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
