Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?

(303): View more from Colorado

No its what 21 year olds are made for

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(620): View more from Kansas

Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me

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(416): View more from Ontario

that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention

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(561): View more from Florida

I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

8===D

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.

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(804): View more from Virginia

Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.

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(575): View more from New Mexico

So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order

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