Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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