There was a lot of him and a little penis
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
