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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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