Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
