U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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