I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
cat food counts as protein by the way
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
