May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
