so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
