Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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