I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Randomize
