she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
