While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
