i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
