are you still at the devil's house?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
