Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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