The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
