Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
