Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
