that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
