I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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