well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
