She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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