I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
