The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
