I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
