Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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