she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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