Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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