My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
