yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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