do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
