You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
