i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
