All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
