It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
