I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
