my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
