one might say we're banned from that church
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
