glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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