nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
