I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize