he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
