How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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