When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
