I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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