vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
