i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
