i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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