my text book just quoted the cookie monster
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize