The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize